Thursday, January 11, 2007

Pentagonal Asymmetry

Well, my friends Khodadad and Dr. O2 have both targeted me as the next subject of the currently popular "five things" tagging game. I previously commented to Khodadad a drastically reduced version of what lies below. I hadn't really intended to post these five things, but then Dr. O2 ganged up on me too. I was tag teamed, and they broke my will to resist! ;) So, here's to you guys, and to you I dedicate the following five fascinating tales from my lost and misspent youth:

1.) I was once addicted to the soap opera "Days of Our Lives". If any of you know that Marlena was possessed by the Devil, then you know exactly what I am talking about! ;) In general I like soap opera type shows with evolving characters and stories. "Dallas" was one of my all time favorite shows, and boy do I have a story to tell about that! I was watching the season ending episode, and half way through the show, CBS pre-empted Dallas with the face of Dan Rather, roving reporter extraordinare. He was in a hotel room and he kept going on and on about how the Chinese government was about to cut off his satellite transmission. He had no news at all to report, he just kept talking about the eminent shut down of his broadcast. I was so mad that I was missing Dallas that I called my local CBS TV station. I recognized the voice that answered the phone. His name was Dave, and he was the head reporter/anchor for the local station's news show. I demanded to know why Dallas had been pre-empted and if it would be shown again and when. Poor Dave could only tell me that the local station had no control over the network feed and that he didn't know anything about whether Dallas would be rebroadcast. Well, after that short and frustrating conversation, I went back to watching Dan Rather talking about essentially nothing, hoping against hope that he would go away and that I could watch the last few minutes of Dallas. Well, not long after Dallas would have ended, Dan was finally cut off as he kept saying he would be. Well, at that moment I just didn't give a damn! I had missed half of the most important TV show of the entire year! I went to bed bitterly disappointed! The next day, I heard the news that the Chinese military had invaded Tiananmen Square and brutally crushed the student freedom and democracy movement. Over the next several days, the full story of the carnage and death that ensued began to come out. I felt completely and totally ashamed! I never did get to see that whole episode of Dallas, but after what happened, it didn't really matter to me any more.

2.) When I was a kid, I used to style the hair of my sister's Barbie dolls. I was a better stylist than she was! I would create various pony tails, buns, and braids. I had very nimble little fingers! :) Well, that was a phase that didn't last very long. I think I did it more to compete with my sister than because I loved the idea of becoming a hair stylist. ;) I spent a lot more time with my tough-man G.I. Joe dolls. I had the Joes with Life-Like Hair and pistil grip hands. My best friend had G.I. Joe with Life-Like Hair and Kung-Fu Grip, definitely a much cooler version (I was quite jealous!). :) I had all sorts of gear for my Joes. I had little plastic guns, little plastic bomb detonators, and little plastic grenades. I had a little aluminized astronaut suit and an everglades style plastic swamp boat with a big plastic propeller. But the best Joe accessory that I ever had was a three foot diameter nylon parachute that was intended for use with a large model rocket. I fashioned a harness to unite my Joe with the chute. I would roll up the chute and throw Joe as high into the air as I could. I guess that I could toss him up 30 or 40 feet. The chute would open and Joe would slowly descend to the ground while swinging back and forth. The most fun, though, was when the chute failed to open and Joe would come crashing back to Earth and splat into the ground looking all twisted and contorted! I had to reattach his head a few times! ;)

3.) All through my childhood, I had a very strong fear of long legged spiders, even of daddy longlegs, which are closely related to spiders, but totally harmless to humans. I am not afraid of short legged spiders at all, though. In fact, I loved to play with jumping spiders, and I didn't mind letting them walk and hop around on my hands. I once even held a tarantula without any discomfort at all! I guess it was the leg length to body size ratio that made me uncomfortable. One Summer, while I was at boy scout camp, it seemed that almost everywhere I looked there were long legged spiders. When I would swim in the lake, there were long legged fishing spiders with three inch leg spans swimming around near the shore. My friends and I would splash them until they hid in the reeds before we would dare get in the water. One day, I was walking on a trail through the woods at the camp and I came upon a small stream. There, next to the stream bank, crouched the biggest fishing spider that I had ever seen. It must have had a leg span of nearly four inches! For some bizarre reason, in spite of my morbid fear, I decided that I wanted to capture it and show it to my friends. I looked around quickly for something that I could trap the spider in. Not far away, I spyed a large rusty coffee can that had been discarded near the trail. I ran over, grabbed the can, and ran back to the stream. The spider hadn't moved. I held the can in my left hand and picked up a stick in my right hand. Then I eased the can down next to the spider. Still, it hadn't moved. I touched its leg with the stick and it ran into the can, momentarily disappearing. I slowly tilted the can up to have a look, and suddenly the spider appeared! It had climbed upside down and was running full speed in the direction of my face! All this happened in a split second. I let go of the can, and by shear reflex, jumped backward about five feet. My heart was racing! The spider scuttled over the top of the can, jumped into the stream, and disappeared from my view. After a few seconds to catch my breath, I went over to the stream and looked for the spider, but it had completely disappeared. I went back to camp and regaled my friends with my tall tale of the giant spider that nearly ate me for dinner! :)

4.) Have you ever yearned to have a window into the pre-adolescent male mind? If so, then read on brave reader, read on! If not, it is strongly suggested that the reader advance to #5! When I was about 12 years old, I was the best teller of dirty joke stories in my whole school (or so I thought, at least! :P ). I would learn a dirty story and then add my own embellishments. My theatrical delivery was also very good, in my opinion! ;) My best story was about three intrepid ants. Their tale is one of adventure, of days and nights spent exploring rumbling twin mountain peaks, thick, dark, and dank rain forests, and deep caverns. Oh, lets not forget the huge cave bears! Yeah, you must be thinking, pretty stupid eh? Well, I have just given you a few essentials of the story. Trust me, there was a lot more tantalizing detail and dramatic buildup! That story never failed to have my young friends rolling with laughter! Hey, we were all just dumb kids afterall! :D

5.) I was once a bit of a juvenile delinquent. When I was 15, I and two other school friends got it into our heads to throw a lot of eggs at the cars of certain school acquaintances late at night. Problem was, we did it over and over again to the same people's cars. Eventually we got caught and had to pay restitution. Honestly, I really didn't have anything against those people. The behavior was just stupid and senseless, but that is what young men of that age are! On the final night of our delinquency, we went to the house of a boy with a really rich daddy. The boy drove a Porsche 924 to school every day. It was the bottom of the line Porsche, but damn, it was a Porsche, and we were jealous! We had arrived in two cars. My friend was sixteen, and he had a license to drive, but I only had a learner's permit. Still, for some reason, I was driving my parent's old Ford that night. We had great fun talking to each other on our CB radios (this was long before cell phones folks!) while we drove to our quarry's house. We parked a block or two away and walked to the house, full egg cartons in hand. We dumped a dozen on top of the Porsche and a second dozen on top of rich daddy's big Mercedes. Then, all of a sudden, the lights came on and there were people yelling and running toward us! The three of us took off running in the direction of our cars. My two friends jumped in their car and took off at high speed. I was a bit slower to get to my car, and the boy who drove the egg laden Porsche caught up to me and grabbed my arm. I was really scared, but I didn't try to struggle. He was older and bigger than I was. He walked me back to his house. Rich daddy had taken off in his car in hot pursuit of my friends. Rich boy and his momma kept an eye on me after momma called the police. The policeman got there and asked me my name. I told him. He wanted to see my license, but all I had was my learner's permit. He wrote down my name, address, etc. He asked for the names of my accomplices, but I initially said nothing. I was feeling a combination of extreme embarrassment, shame, fear, and loyalty to my friends. After a while rich daddy came back and said that my friends had gotten away, but that he had the license number of the car. He gave it to the policeman. Finally, I confessed the names of my friends. Rich momma and daddy were rather surprised at one of the names. I found out later that they were good friends with his parents. Rich daddy, I found out later also knew my father. Anyway, the cop turned out to be pretty cool. Although I didn't have a driver's license, he let me drive my car home. I was sure that I was going to be hauled off to jail, but he released me (To this day, I suspect that the cop had been even more of a delinquent than I ever was in his own youth!). Still, I knew that my troubles were just beginning. I drove home slowly and stayed up all night worrying about what my parents would think of me. In the morning, I confessed to my parents what I had done. They were really upset and disappointed in me! Our three father's ended up having a big meeting with rich daddy, and another daddy, as well. Some expensive cars needed expensive cleaning and repainting. One of my friends apparently confessed to a few of our other capers, so that added to the total bill. We all ended up working for months to pay off the damages that our parents had covered for us. The story of our misadventures was spread far and wide at school. We were either heroes or pariahs, depending on the social status of our fellow students. All in all, it was a very tough lesson that I and my friends had to learn!

Ok, now that I have fulfilled the tag challenge of revealing five extraordinary things about myself, if I am to adhere to the rules of the game, I must now name five new recipients to carry the torch exponentially further into the murky ethers of the blogosphere. :) Now lets see, who among my friends is deserving of such honor and distinction? Hmmm, dramatic pause, drum roll..., ok I name as the next victims, er honorees, Anarki-13, Lavinia, Madas, Melantrys, and Tamara. Now everybody, how about a big round of applause for the distinguished top five!! :D


Blogger Dr O2 said...

I am quite an addict on soap operas! Becker, Friends, Fraiser, Yes Dear, ...

Hair styler!!?? :-D

Spiders!? I don have that phobia but my friend palors when he faces the tiniest spiders!!

Hey U were so naughty as a kid Dave!!!

tnx for playing along :-D

Wish the next 5 good luck.

Will be back on wednesday :-D

1/12/2007 10:58 AM  
Blogger David said...

You're welcome Omid! :D Yep, I was definitely a very naughty boy some of the time! ;) What are you doing until Wednesday? Some sort of soldier training? Hope you remembered to pack extra socks! :)

1/12/2007 9:36 PM  
Blogger aNarki-13 said...

ohhhhhh boy...

5 extraordinary things? hmmm..
i've always been mr.overall nice guy, but hey, could there be a rotten core to this shiny apple? i honestly dont think so, am just pure old boring, but still..

short version

1. once -in college- me and four other guys drove in one of us' VW beetle in a football/soccer field, while a game was being held there..

2. first word i ever said was not "mama" or "dada", it was "dhau" which means Light, in arabic.

3. i had almost-longer-than-shoulder-length hair. :D
believe me, in iraq, before the war, it was rare! i had to cut it after the war when the faculty had a meeting and decided to make an example for discipline out of me..either cut it or get kicked out. i cut it.

4. i can do 400 situps. continuous. yet still my excess skin /flab is killing me. a few more months, maybe?

5. i cant account for the period from the 13th of June, 1994, till the 1st of October, 1995.
let's just say i celebrated my 13th year behind the sun. sorry, i really cant detail this one more.

will put this up in post format! :D thanx for the tag!

1/12/2007 10:37 PM  
Anonymous mariamusic said...

I must admit your #4 and # 5, got into me.

so, am I supposed to put some 5 things people do not know about me on my blog??? since Dr O2, passed his tagging virus to me or what?

My problem is people almost know everything about me, eh.


1/13/2007 12:31 AM  
Blogger David said...

Anarki, was the "ohhhhhh boy..." your only reaction to my five extraordinary things? ;) I look forward to reading the long version of your five things. :)

Hi Mariam, I take it that you have no fear of spiders then? :) As far as what five things to write about, that is up to you. I simply chose five things that I remembered very well and that I thought people might be interested to read about. I am sure that some people know everything about you, but I don't. So, almost anything that you choose would be a surprise to me! I look forward to reading your list too! :)

1/13/2007 2:04 AM  
Anonymous mariamusic said...

Hi David,

No, I'm not scared of spiders as I can kill them easily. I am a bit scared of cockroach though as I hesitate to kill them. I make sure I have enough distant when I want to kill them. there you go; one more thing about me. see, that's why I say people almost know a lot about me!!!

1/13/2007 8:04 PM  
Blogger David said...

See Mariam, it was not so hard to tell me one thing about you! ;) Now all you need are four more things. :)

Roaches are not my favorite creatures either. Once, I was trying to kill a roach and it flew right at me and landed on me! I nearly beat myself badly trying to get it off! Before that, I didn't know they could fly. Nasty creatures!!

1/14/2007 1:30 AM  
Blogger Granny Weatherwax said...

You splashed at the spiders till they hid and then you ENTERED THE WATER??????
How couragious of you. Me, I wouldn't even go near the shore if there were spiders on the water!

crrvoolj...? What's that? The sound a killer-spider makes before attacking?

1/15/2007 6:24 AM  
Blogger aNarki-13 said...

sure it was not my only reaction! :D i promise a new post soon soon just pls gimme a bit more time? i promise i will post!

oh..urm..i dont like spiders too.. actually, anything with more than 4 legs i have a problem with!

1/15/2007 10:34 PM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Granny, nice of you to visit! :) As far as I could tell, the spiders were only floating and moving about on the surface of the water. If I had seen them diving, there is NO WAY that I would have entered the water!!! drsduqt...the sound a fishing spider makes when it is crushed by a rubber boot! ;)

Hi Tamara, yes I WAS a naughty boy! ;) Wow, I think that speaking five languages would be extraordinary by any standards! What can you make happen? I think that statement should be greatly expanded in your blog when you formally present your five things! :)

Ok Anarki, I will give you 48 hours. If you don't have a new post by then, I will have Mel fly back to Amman to give you a thrashing! ;) Would you have a problem with a five legged cow? I saw one at a freak show one time. I wasn't sure, but I think the extra leg actually moved! Creepy! :D

1/15/2007 10:58 PM  
Blogger Granny Weatherwax said...

They were "only" floating...
Yeah, well, what if they floated right up to your face??? *shudder*
- You wouldn't get me within a mile of that water!
.....Did I mention I'm slightly phobic...? :o))

shgayls - that creepy, crawly feeling you get when you suspect many spiders approaching from behind...

1/16/2007 6:12 AM  
Blogger Spooky Witch said...

I had this unexplainable love for spiders,their slender legs..I loved it when they walked on my palm...
Your #2 just got me.
I loved your #5,did you ever intend to join the Fight Club?

1/20/2007 7:25 AM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Spooky :) Well, it is good that some people love spiders! They actually are very helpful to humans because they eat a lot of insects that might otherwise devour our food crops (or bite us for a meal!). Oh, that reminds me that I need to write about organic farming! :) I try to be kind to spiders these days. If I see one in the house, I catch it and release it outside.

I was not much of a fighter when I was a kid. Sometimes I wish I could have been, though, as I was beaten sometimes by other kids. My parents started me in school a year early. I was always smart enough for that, but I was also smaller than the other kids. I ended up growing bigger than most of them, but I think it would have been much better for me to have gone through school with kids my own age. I never saw the movie Fight Club, maybe I should rent it and see what its all about. :)

1/20/2007 12:58 PM  
Blogger Kyubai said...

Hmm pretty interesting indeed...
Well when I was a kid I was more like a menace to the socity of insects, I took whole colonies but yet that might be due to the fact that I feard them (who knows).
Very interesting stories David and I can't wait for the real version of Anarkis stories (the real version of the darkest secrets)...;D

1/23/2007 2:12 PM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Kyubai, I'm glad you found the stories interesting! :) I have always enjoyed watching insects and learning about them. For most of them, I have a very generous live and let live attitude. However, I am not too friendly toward the stinging and biting varieties. I have taken out quite a few nests of wasps over the years. I tried to destroy some Fire Ant nests (they have very painful bites), but that is nearly impossible! Here in the U.S. we are faced with ever expanding colonies of Africanized Killer Bees. To handle a nest of those little terrors, it is essential to call a professional!

I am also waiting to read Anarki's stories. :)

1/24/2007 11:51 AM  
Blogger David said...

Note: This comment is for Mariamusic's post "a little note":

Hi Mariam, I have been trying to leave this comment at your blog for the past few days, but it disappears every time! Other people have commented successfully, so I don't know what the problem might be. So, I hope you will stop by here and see my comment. Here it is:

It sounds like bicycles are very popular in Australia. They are a great way to stay in shape! I used to ride my bicycle to school when I was a kid. Its too bad that most U.S. cities are not very friendly for bicycles. A few have a lot of bike lanes, but not many that I have been to.

Those huge palm trees are really pretty! Did they have any fruits like dates or coconuts?

1/25/2007 12:41 PM  
Anonymous mariamusic said...

Hi David,

Although I have nothing to do with it, sorry about the problem you experience on my blog.

I've responded to you on my blog.

I'm feeling like I wish I could do something, but I have not much knowledge regarding internet and puter and such.


1/26/2007 10:14 PM  
Anonymous Tess Durbeyfield said...

I read your response to my question, Thank You.
Enjoyed your pentagonal asymmetry!

1/27/2007 5:52 AM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Tess, I am glad that you enjoyed my post! :) I have made an inquiry to one of my friends regarding your question. If I get a positive result, I will let you know in a comment here.

1/28/2007 12:16 PM  
Blogger David said...

Tess, I heard back from my friend Baghdad Treasure. Here is part of the email that he sent me:

"Anyways, I have not written about my experience during the Iraq-Iran war. Maybe, I mentioned that in a sentence or two or maybe I wrote something like this on my comment section. However, I suggest you or your friend read "The Republic of Fear" by Kanaan Makiya, an excellent bulky book that speaks a lot about that period and about Saddam's issues at the time. I haven't read the whole thing but I read part of it and I found it interesting."

Maybe this book will help to answer some of your questions.

1/29/2007 1:04 AM  
Anonymous Tess Durbeyfield said...

Hello David. Thank you very much. I read one chapter of the book which I could find on the net and it was interesting. I have also searched the net to find some memories of Iraqi people from that time but didn't find any. This can be due to 2 possible reasons: (1) There have been so much worse days that Iraqis have totally forgotten about that.(2) That period of time was also the time when Iraq was at its highest degree of power and had the best economy ever in its history; of course war is never fun but maybe they really didn't have much sufferings thanks to the huge oil income and helps from abroad.
I personally prefer to believe no.2:)
Thanks for your time, you're very kind.

1/30/2007 6:16 AM  
Blogger David said...

You are welcome Tess. I am glad that I could be helpful to you. :) Good luck with your search for more information!

1/30/2007 12:42 PM  
Blogger aNarki-13 said...

sorry david, it seems i've been rude to promise you than renege.

your post is in mind i swear! i just upped a geeky post, will do the promised detailed version soon.

this time i mean it truly..

heyyy.. how come the rest of the tagged didnt do their own? :D

no really david, please excuse my rudeness.

2/02/2007 11:59 PM  
Blogger Rain Drop said...

i haven't followed a soap opera since i was back at school ;) don't have much time for it now :) (i miss having nthg at all to do!)

hehe, atleast u did that on ur sister's dolls, my brother had to do it on my hair ;)

i hate spiders!!! i can't help but kill them when i see 1 ;) i would never ever let it walk on my hands :)

i wonder if u've ever tried throwing water baloons :D those were even more fun than eggs :D my fav. game was water fights, but we were hated by other girls (hair done at the saloon!)

nice post :) i liked it!

2/03/2007 12:33 PM  
Blogger David said...

Anarki, there is no need to apologize! This five things stuff is just for fun. Still, I will be happy to read your more detailed version when you post it. :) I am waiting for the other taggees too! ;)

Hi Rain Drop, welcome to my blog! :) So, is your brother a hair dresser now? Just kidding! ;) I once lived in an old house with a dark basement. It was full of huge spiders! Even I was scared to go into the basement! :O *terrified smiley* Oh, I had water balloon fights with my friends as a kid! Lots of fun! :) Hey, you were a naughty girl throwing water balloons at the high fashion girls! ;) I'm glad you liked the post! :D

2/03/2007 10:58 PM  
Anonymous kiddo said...

i enjoyed reading your post but i dont have any special idea. that was marvelous.i look forward to read your next post.

2/08/2007 4:32 PM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Kiddo, welcome to my blog! I am glad you enjoyed my stories! :)

2/09/2007 12:51 PM  
Anonymous khodadad said...

Tseh tseh tseh! Level headed David as a naughty boy? Who could believe that?

I loved playing with Barbie dolls too, gender taboos be damned. My sister had a lot of them, and she did not play with them, so my cousin and I adopted them and played with them along with my collection of cars. Ken was twice the size of my Batman car, but imagination is all that couts...

2/26/2007 3:46 AM  
Blogger David said...

Hi Khodadad, its nice to see you out and about once again! :)

I suppose my naughty behavior is rather hard to believe! :P

Thanks for sharing your "Fun with Barbies" story! :D You are right, with kids, imagination is so important! A lot of people seem to loose that as they grow up, but I somehow never did. Maybe you didn't either (your Charlemagne farce was pretty imaginative!). :)

2/26/2007 12:23 PM  
Blogger David said...

Note: Tamara asked me to remove her comment to this post. I have done so, but just for personal reference, I have saved it to a file: Tamara8

5/14/2007 2:22 PM  

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